Old Fashioned Dating Tips, Rule Number 1 Pick Her Up: Does It Still Apply Today?

Lets face it, men had it easier in the olden days when there were clear rules on dating. Ladies were ladies and gentlemen were gentlemen. Today, everything seems blurred and unclear. So I decided to dust of some of these old fashioned rules to see if they still apply, how they can be used and if women would respond positively to them. If the old fashioned rules still applied, imagine how much easier our dating life will be. All the rules are lessons on how to be a gentleman and it seems women still love gentlemen.

Rule #1: Pick her up

So you’ve secured the date. Now what? Do you suggest you meet somewhere or pick her up? In old days the man always picked up the woman. Let’s look at why. Well, a lot of women didn’t drive and it was seen as being very poor form for a woman to be out alone at night.

Today, most women do drive and most own their own cars. It is not seen as poor form for a woman to be out at night, however there are some definite safety concerns for women being out alone at night.

So is this still a good dating tip? I think it is. The women I have met and talked with are still impressed with men who act like gentlemen. Maybe because there seems to be so few of them. It can be much more relaxing for the woman if she doesn’t have to drive. She’s not worried about finding her way and doesn’t have to worry about what to do with her car if she has a drink or two. She doesn’t have to worry about finding or paying for parking.

I think offering to pick a woman up will also surprise her. It shows her you have made plans, you know where you are going and basically that you are in control. There’s nothing wishy washy about picking a woman up. You are saying to her right from the get go that you will take care of her. And as independent as women are today, they are attracted to men who will take care of them. Women want to know that the man will hold up his part of the bargain and take care of her. That does not mean that she wants to be dependent upon the man. She wants her own career, her own successes, but she wants to know that the man will be her equal. She doesn’t want to have to look after the man, do all the work or make all the plans.

By picking her up you’re saying, “I’ve got it covered. I’m taking care of everything tonight.” Women want that. They like to be able to relax and not worry. They also like to know that the man isn’t changing everything to accommodate her. He’s not constantly asking “what do you want to do?” in an effort to please her. Women see a man who will bend over backwards to accommodate her as a weakness and women do not like weak men. Being a gentleman is not about being weak, it is about showing the woman that you value her.

Now what do you do when you arrive at her door. These days it seems men either honk or text and that brings the woman running. It does not show that you value the woman very much. You can’t even make the effort to get out of your car and walk up to her door. Yes women these days will come running when we honk or text, but that’s because we’ve trained them to do so. Imagine how surprised (and pleasantly surprised) she’ll be if you ring her doorbell. This can be a definite advantage to you. How? First you’ve surprised her. Second you’ve shown her she’s worth the effort and third this gives you the opportunity to enter her space. If she’s not quite ready she’ll invite you in and after the first invite in the second is easier to get. As you walk out the door or walk down the steps to the car, placing your hand on her lower back to guide her gently is entering her space. It’s non-threatening to her and she’ll start to relax and trust you. A gentle hand on the lower back is a way of saying to her “I’ve got you so I’m taking care of you.” Again, this goes back to the fact that women really do want to be looked after. They don’t need ‘pampering’ nor being treated like they aren’t capable individuals, but that when they need you, you will be there for them. By entering her space you’re building trust.

Now that you have the woman on your arm and you’ve arrived at the car, do you open the door for her or not? This is an easy decision. Yes, open the door. You’re standing right beside her at the car door, it just makes sense to open the door. You’ve gone through all the effort of driving to her place, ringing her doorbell so don’t drop the ball here. You’re not saying she’s too weak to open the door herself, you’re saying I value you enough to treat you right.

In today’s environment a lot women are leery about having a man pick her up, especially if it’s a first date. So don’t push. Simply offer and let her decide. If she does decide that she wants to meet you at the restaurant (or wherever) then accept that decision. She is not saying she doesn’t trust you, she’s saying she doesn’t know you well enough yet to trust you. After you finish your date, walk her to her car and open the door for her. You will still appear as a gentleman, and you will show her that you want to protect her. You don’t want her walking alone at night. Even if your car is on the other side of the parking lot, walk her to her car. You value her safety. Show her that.

So old fashioned rule #1 pick her up. Yes, I think it can still be as effective today as it was 50 – 60 years ago. Maybe even more so because the woman will not expect the offer so you will surprise her. Being a gentleman goes a long way to impressing women.